Healing after a toxic relationship

Leaving or ending an unhealthy relationship is a big step, and it is often only the beginning. Many people feel relief and grief at the same time, along with confusion, self-doubt and a pull to go back. Healing takes time, and you do not have to do it alone.

Signs a relationship was unhealthy

You often felt anxious, on edge or like you were walking on eggshells
You were criticized, put down or made to feel small
Your feelings or memories were dismissed or twisted
You were cut off from friends or family
Your money, phone or time were controlled
Apologies were followed by the same behavior again

If you are in danger now, call 911. For confidential support around abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233.

What recovery can feel like

Missing the person even though you know it was not good for you
Second-guessing your memory or judgment
Anxiety, trouble sleeping or feeling on alert
Low self-esteem or shame
Difficulty trusting new people

All of this is common. It does not mean you made the wrong choice.

Steps that help

Limit contact where you can. Muting or blocking can give you space to heal.
Reconnect with people who care about you. Let a few trusted people know what you are going through.
Rebuild routines that are yours: sleep, meals, movement, hobbies.
Write down what happened. It can help when you start doubting yourself.
Practice small boundaries in everyday life to rebuild confidence.
Go easy on yourself. Healing is not a straight line.

How therapy can help

Therapy gives you a safe place to make sense of what happened, work through anxiety, grief and anger, rebuild your self-worth and learn to spot warning signs in future relationships. It can also help you set boundaries with family or co-parents if contact cannot be avoided.

Getting started

Adaptive Behavioral Services offers individual therapy by secure video, so you can talk from a private, comfortable space. Request an appointment or call (412) 661-7790.