Bullying and cyberbullying: spotting it and recovering
How to spot bullying and cyberbullying, what parents can do, and how to help a child recover.
Adaptive Behavioral Services · · Updated · 2 min read
Bullying is repeated, intentional behavior meant to hurt, scare or exclude someone. It can happen in hallways, on the bus, in sports and, more and more, online. Its effects can last well beyond the moment, so it is worth taking seriously, whether your child is being bullied, is bullying others or is watching it happen.
Forms bullying can take
- Physical: hitting, pushing, taking or breaking belongings
- Verbal: name-calling, threats, mocking
- Social: leaving someone out, spreading rumors, turning friends against them
- Cyberbullying: hurtful messages, posts, photos or group chats, often anonymous and hard to escape
Signs a child may be bullied
- Not wanting to go to school or certain activities
- Unexplained injuries or missing belongings
- Headaches or stomach aches, especially on school days
- Changes in sleep, appetite or mood
- Pulling away from friends, or suddenly having fewer of them
- Seeming upset after being online or hiding their phone
- Falling grades
What parents can do
- Listen calmly. Thank them for telling you and make it clear it is not their fault.
- Get the details. What happened, where, when and who was there.
- Save evidence of online bullying with screenshots before anything is deleted.
- Contact the school. Ask about their anti-bullying policy and plan.
- Do not tell them to fight back or to simply ignore it.
- Help them stay connected to friends and activities where they feel safe.
- Report threats of violence to the school and, if needed, the police.
If your child is the one bullying
Stay calm and be clear that the behavior has to stop. Try to understand what is behind it, such as stress at home, wanting to fit in or their own experience of being bullied. Set consequences, help them make amends and stay in touch with the school.
Bystanders matter too
Kids who see bullying can help by not joining in, supporting the person being targeted and telling a trusted adult. Talking about this at home helps them know what to do.
When to get support
If bullying has left your child anxious, sad, withdrawn or afraid to go to school, or if you notice talk of self-harm, reach out for help right away. If your child is in immediate danger or talking about ending their life, call or text 988, or call 911. Therapy can help children rebuild confidence, process what happened and develop ways to cope, and family therapy can help the whole household support them.
Getting started
Adaptive Behavioral Services offers therapy for children, teens and families by secure video across Pittsburgh and western Pennsylvania. Request an appointment or call (412) 661-7790.
